what is true love?... @ Wednesday, July 06, 2005

A very sensitive issue comes to my mind..which i am not really want to talk bou it...but..my mind is sort of complicated..so..how?
and...how m i suppose to handle?..i can says that..i am happy with my life,do u believe?..everyone seems that not really satisfied what they have in life..because they dun experiance it b4. Well included me!...somehow i think that i might be a temporary lesbian!Because my previous love life was sucks!Kinda hurt for being cheated by the bastards..which i cant let go!..even though i did not cry or whatever to torture myself..i am enjoying something are nice!but the pain and scar still in my heart or some where else...Good enuf to say that i am stronger then other girls somehow i am proud of myself!...I met a guy thru a fren..he is completely good,wise,tolerant,knowledgable when comes to car,Automobiles,engines,Phycis..and i can also smell his spicy brain,and yes and of cos too...he is loving &caring,a Extremely patient guy! which important to me!he WAS the one who brighten up my days..we share the same opinion.Especially when we comes to classical musics..he is crazy bou it!..haha a classical musics freak!..thats how we get to know each other so well..exchanged cds..write letters.sms!..haha...i still remember what he said!..there must be a sms per day last time....it was a great time to wating for his sms...hahaha .but,sometimes,we got lack of communicate problem..so we cant get to close,so we got a happy ending..he is currently in Melbourne..u know kind of long distance relationship.....so thats y he is smart to handler this kind of stuation..he choosed to leave me..he talked to me....which i am extremely sad!..anyway.was my 1st true love!..TRUE LOVE K!.and he is the 1st guy and last guy and also the oni one to made my heart beating fast!..which i cant afford to forget....haha..y m i here to stressing u all!..hehe

Yes..they r few of them came after me..but i am being a bit cruel,i had rejected them,i cant wash out my pain..i think 80% of guys in the world are completely SUCKS!..hmm.i got considered dump by a guy before new year !..what the heck!but and ya..i met the good ones too....i gonna be lesbian..to try something is new!..try to fall in love with girls! but......but i think i couldnt..because i got my own heathlty future..i gotta built up my lovely family....m i right?....

Sometimes i might think that... m i understand what is love about?..what is the defination of Love?..or.....can u define it 4 me?....i was wondering....u know...i am living in my own world..i need more love...and i feel that..i dun love my family as well....i scolded my nieces...u know...oh my god...m i an idiot?...i was wondering!....

and now...i having a cool war with Mr Chan!...he said that i am childish..cannot managa something smoothly..or cant manage handle something in a good way...and cant let it goo...what i can explain is..i cant let go something doesnt mean that i am childish ya?...okie!...let it be like this!. I am treated u as my kor kor..which i also manja him...to ask him this and that...so sometimes i ...okie i did!..i thrown tantrum on him...i admit...i juz wanna get some advices from him....well okie fine...!...i am fade up with this frenship...which is sad...okie?...now he was like....insulting me like shit or whatever...okie fine!...well....this is not i NEED u in my life...there is nothing with me...i dun care...i wont be feel something like whatver shit u gave me..k?...

okie....enuf 4 these kind of stuff...i am tired with all these....

anyway...i am kinda happy...cos..my frens sharon and lee teach me Accounts!..heheee..so good!..i am so happy withthat.....they even spent time with me..and teach me..!..muah!